the delimma
I was driving back from the Allen Premium Outlets on Sunday evening; windows and sunroof down; wearing shorts and a short sleeve shirt. It was a very nice day and I was relaxed. Then I thought to myself, “It’s 6:20 and church starts at 6:30!.”
The delimma arrived. “To go, or not to go.” See, that was really the question. I didn’t want to go for alot of reasons. The biggest part of me didn’t want to go cause I don’t want to just go sit there by myself and just attend church. I don’t really want to just go and sit there. I can do that on my couch watching Joel Osteen. I want to be involved and contribute, or not go at all. Of course, my rationalization says that I’m already in a Life Group at church so I’m atleast involved somehow. Then I realized that the biggest reason I don’t really want to get too actively involved in a church and become a member is because I want to do that with my wife. You know, a couple thing. So my brain went off on that tangent and I finally convinced myself that that train of thought was ultimately absurd! Why wait to get involved in the church, which is a community of believers, until I’m married? How did I ever come up with that? That’s like saying I’m going to wait to eat until I have a wife to eat with. Stupid.
If you are still reading, you are wondering if I even went to church. Yes, I did… And I enjoyed it! Worship was a great time and I thanked God for letting me live all these years. 
Pastor Pete Brisco talked about “Remaining in Christ”. As Christians, we all know that Jesus lives with us. Very few of us realize that He wants to live in us. Cause when He lives in us, only then He is able to live through us. I wonder why I don’t see miracles happening around me. I wonder why God doesn’t use me as much as I want Him to. Well, how can He when I don’t remain in Him? Yea, I read my Bible and pray, but do I really let Jesus to live in me? Cause in order for Jesus to live in me, that means that I no longer live. The old is gone and the new has come. Oh yea, I want the new, but do I really want the old to go. Ouch, that hurts.
“Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.” – John 15:4,5
I want to be a branch that remains on the vine and bears fruit.
Why am I fading?… good question, the answer hard to put into words. Deep; real deep. Maybe thats the problem… its to share than actually putting words to it. A feeling… hmmm…
Randomly: So I read your blog and like on the last sentence about not eating it reminded me of a conversation and friend and I had last Sunday. It was about Anorexic and Bulimic Christians. How they go and listen to the living word: food for their soul. Some take it in only to throw it up later never absorbing it. Some play around with it to give a perception they are “eating” when they are never truly biting. Both look, physically, like they are eating but in reality they are not. Thats actually a harsh thought because I know so many of us have had times where we took services for granted and we left never eating or throwing it up. Whoa… what a thought. Anyway, just thought I’d share that with you. Peace friend!
~Just a Simpleton
Hey… were you ever on the MT with the HA?
~Just a simpleton
That was a good post mike. it’s funny you put the dictionary definition to absurd. ;0) are you still planning on a yacht party?? Maybe we could have one in Austin.
Awesome! God after God and let Him live in you. It is only when you do that that you will begin to see miracles happen in your life and around you. Be a miracle worker and let God guide and direct you. Die to yourself. To die is to self is much better than to live for self!